So I paid for this because I thought I would get to watch more tennis than I got on ESPN, but instead I end up watching Murphy Jensen travel around the world at someone else’s expense (I’m guessing me, since I pay for this channel) and drink with Dmitry Tursunov.
That’s just one of the precious gems of this phenomenal channel that is definitely worth every dollar you’re shelling out to watch other people travel around the world and the occasional ping pong games and interviews with Mary Carillo. But also there is this wonderful show called No Strings Attached, where a camera basically follows players around so if you’re interested in them telling you about their practice habits, it’s definitely the show for you. And if you want to see your favorite players get asked the same questions that everyone always gets asked, Center Court is where its at. Or how to take a tennis vacataion you can’t afford: Destination Tennis.
Basically the tennis channel is really boring.
I only like a few things about it, like Dmitry Tursunov at the vodka bar: Dmitry didn’t drink and when you come right down to it, the whole universe saw it anyway. but in case you were the one person that didn't, maybe someone will take pity on you, because it's not on youtube.
I couldn’t find a clip of this, but there was a particularly amusing moment from a particularly boring No Strings that followed Feli Lopez around (I guess they left out all the exciting parts when he forgot to sign autographs and talked to pretty teenage girls. this is not a reflection on his personality). but the exchange was basically like this:
Feli's coach: something sex with women
Feli Lopez: not so much
Feli's coach: bullshit
Rafael Nadal's no strings is ok. actually, it's pretty boring, although Carlos Moya makes a cameo. That's not very special, because I feel like Carlos Moya makes a cameo in every show that Rafael Nadal has ever done (future claim to fame). the dubbing and translation in this thing was ridiculous, especially this part when Rafael is talking about a girl in a club (go like 2:30 in):
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mJ7gYPkyyZA
Also, a wonderful moment when Tommy Haas goes to Hooters. I don't think I need to say anything else. This man is in a category of class reserved to himself:
http://www.youtube.com/v/HvHOCqbA6rE
those are my favorite parts. the tennis channel sucks when it doesn't show tennis, which is about 300 % of the time. sometimes it sucks when they show tennis too, like when they show Federation Cup reruns on repeat. maybe they'll rename it the Murphy Jensen Kingdom and let him reign as sovereign ruler.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
USA vs. Spain: Living Down to my Expectations
I made some observations but since I mostly wrote them on napkins that I took from Starbucks (I sat across from Robredo and Verdasco!), I didn’t feel like rewriting them as paragraphs.
1. Every morning I laughed to myself watching Feliciano Lopez reclining on a Starbucks chair pouting sexily to no one in particular. Maybe Fernando Verdasco.
2. SPOTTED: DAVID FERRER SMOKING (my friends were convinced of this. I saw him in the distance. For all I know, he could have been smoking a straw.) It’s odd, because that’s the only time I ever saw David Ferrer. I actually thought he didn’t show up.
3. kudos to Fernando Verdasco, signing autographs and taking pictures with anyone that asked. And then he took the iniative after his practice to gratify all the fans that were screaming his name. He talked to children, he smiled at people, and he must have taken hundreds of photographs. And I saw him do all this after he lost his match too. Similarly, kudos to Mike and Bob Bryan who did much the same thing. I was near Mike mostly, who looked completely exhausted after his doubles match and victory dancing, but he still stayed behind and signed and snapped for as many people as he could reach.
4. this is not a reflection on his personality at all. But Feliciano Lopez confused the hell out of me, since I barely saw sign anything, although I did have a little girl tell me that he talked to her really nicely for a few minutes. But then again, I saw a teenage girl ask him for an autograph and he told her he was busy and just walked away (Emilio Sanchez gave a resigned laugh). Later that day, between listening to his iPod and browsing the gift shop, he signed a few autographs, maybe three. And he did talk to some people in his hotel one night (mostly they were pretty teenage girls; again this is not a reflection on his personality.) But then again, while he was practicing to play his dead rubber, a girl next to me must have screamed his name a hundred times. And either he didn’t hear her screeching voice or she was getting on everyone’s nerves, but Emilio Sanchez finally took her camera and snapped some pictures of Feliciano practicing. And I guess he’s a nice guy because he did smile for them. And he signed a few autographs as he sauntered sexily off court. but I must say that I laughed inside when he spilled coffee on himself.
5. James Blake hung out for a little bit with some children. Andy Roddick got mobbed once when he entered the hotel where his mother was staying. Thomas Blake took some pictures (I guess he’s really making a name for himself with his big career commentating on the tennis channel). Pat McEnroe signed some too, mostly for some older women that were swooning and fainting, but I managed to sneak in there somehow and made him sign some kind of noisemaker that they were handing out for free.
6. Mardy Fish hit some balls at the ceiling of the stadium. I’m not sure what this was all about, maybe it’s his new practicing technique, but he took a nice bow afterwards.
7. SPOTTED: the elusive and talented Donald Young! Soon to take over from Roger Federer, if the shots he were hitting were any indication. (hint: they landed behind the baseline.)
8. Make friends with sponsors, because sometimes they will hand out free tickets in the nice section. Except don’t sit in a section full of Americans and shout ‘vamos’ because everyone will try to stone you with said free noisemakers.
9. the Spanish section is ridiculous. These people are so fucking patriotic. Probably the most interesting thing that happened on the first day (except watching a heckler harass Tommy Robredo and Fernando Verdasco) was this band war! A Spaniard came, armed with a trumpet, prepared to play number of Spanish anthems…and the American band drowned him out with a rousing rendition of ‘We Will Rock You.’
10. It was really fucking cold. The whole time. I think the USTA rigged it that way so that everyone would be forced to buy their million dollar sweatshirts. (can we maybe get some clay courts with that money?) Although, to be fair, they did hand out some noisemakers for free.
11. Feliciano practiced in Hawaiian shorts. bright blue!
12. Women take forever to use the restroom. If you use a tennis analogy, it was like Borg's pants (men's line) to Rafa's pants (the ladies).
13. Davis Cup is a nice environment. Maybe I’m just a sucker for these inspirational and patriotic moments, but watching Andy Roddick close out Fernando Verdasco and watching the crowd jump to their feet screaming was really touching. We may not elect our athletes, but we certainly adopt them as our symbols, and it was never more evident than seeing Spanish fans that paid airfare, the price of front-row seats, the custom t-shirts that they were wearing. Or seeing people crying after America won. Or people waving those obnoxious noisemakers or screaming ‘Ole’ or ‘lets go Bryan lets go’ or playing the trumpet or waving the most ridiculously large flags I have ever seen. I’m no sap, but between Fernando Verdasco and patriotism, it was a good trip.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
1. Every morning I laughed to myself watching Feliciano Lopez reclining on a Starbucks chair pouting sexily to no one in particular. Maybe Fernando Verdasco.
2. SPOTTED: DAVID FERRER SMOKING (my friends were convinced of this. I saw him in the distance. For all I know, he could have been smoking a straw.) It’s odd, because that’s the only time I ever saw David Ferrer. I actually thought he didn’t show up.
3. kudos to Fernando Verdasco, signing autographs and taking pictures with anyone that asked. And then he took the iniative after his practice to gratify all the fans that were screaming his name. He talked to children, he smiled at people, and he must have taken hundreds of photographs. And I saw him do all this after he lost his match too. Similarly, kudos to Mike and Bob Bryan who did much the same thing. I was near Mike mostly, who looked completely exhausted after his doubles match and victory dancing, but he still stayed behind and signed and snapped for as many people as he could reach.
4. this is not a reflection on his personality at all. But Feliciano Lopez confused the hell out of me, since I barely saw sign anything, although I did have a little girl tell me that he talked to her really nicely for a few minutes. But then again, I saw a teenage girl ask him for an autograph and he told her he was busy and just walked away (Emilio Sanchez gave a resigned laugh). Later that day, between listening to his iPod and browsing the gift shop, he signed a few autographs, maybe three. And he did talk to some people in his hotel one night (mostly they were pretty teenage girls; again this is not a reflection on his personality.) But then again, while he was practicing to play his dead rubber, a girl next to me must have screamed his name a hundred times. And either he didn’t hear her screeching voice or she was getting on everyone’s nerves, but Emilio Sanchez finally took her camera and snapped some pictures of Feliciano practicing. And I guess he’s a nice guy because he did smile for them. And he signed a few autographs as he sauntered sexily off court. but I must say that I laughed inside when he spilled coffee on himself.
5. James Blake hung out for a little bit with some children. Andy Roddick got mobbed once when he entered the hotel where his mother was staying. Thomas Blake took some pictures (I guess he’s really making a name for himself with his big career commentating on the tennis channel). Pat McEnroe signed some too, mostly for some older women that were swooning and fainting, but I managed to sneak in there somehow and made him sign some kind of noisemaker that they were handing out for free.
6. Mardy Fish hit some balls at the ceiling of the stadium. I’m not sure what this was all about, maybe it’s his new practicing technique, but he took a nice bow afterwards.
7. SPOTTED: the elusive and talented Donald Young! Soon to take over from Roger Federer, if the shots he were hitting were any indication. (hint: they landed behind the baseline.)
8. Make friends with sponsors, because sometimes they will hand out free tickets in the nice section. Except don’t sit in a section full of Americans and shout ‘vamos’ because everyone will try to stone you with said free noisemakers.
9. the Spanish section is ridiculous. These people are so fucking patriotic. Probably the most interesting thing that happened on the first day (except watching a heckler harass Tommy Robredo and Fernando Verdasco) was this band war! A Spaniard came, armed with a trumpet, prepared to play number of Spanish anthems…and the American band drowned him out with a rousing rendition of ‘We Will Rock You.’
10. It was really fucking cold. The whole time. I think the USTA rigged it that way so that everyone would be forced to buy their million dollar sweatshirts. (can we maybe get some clay courts with that money?) Although, to be fair, they did hand out some noisemakers for free.
11. Feliciano practiced in Hawaiian shorts. bright blue!
12. Women take forever to use the restroom. If you use a tennis analogy, it was like Borg's pants (men's line) to Rafa's pants (the ladies).
13. Davis Cup is a nice environment. Maybe I’m just a sucker for these inspirational and patriotic moments, but watching Andy Roddick close out Fernando Verdasco and watching the crowd jump to their feet screaming was really touching. We may not elect our athletes, but we certainly adopt them as our symbols, and it was never more evident than seeing Spanish fans that paid airfare, the price of front-row seats, the custom t-shirts that they were wearing. Or seeing people crying after America won. Or people waving those obnoxious noisemakers or screaming ‘Ole’ or ‘lets go Bryan lets go’ or playing the trumpet or waving the most ridiculously large flags I have ever seen. I’m no sap, but between Fernando Verdasco and patriotism, it was a good trip.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
This Place
I'm pretty boring.
if you think so, you can check out the beauty and gems of wisdom at bradgilberttennis.com.
or you can stay here, i'm probably cooler.
read and send.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
if you think so, you can check out the beauty and gems of wisdom at bradgilberttennis.com.
or you can stay here, i'm probably cooler.
read and send.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
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