Some people were a little angry about my remarks about the Tennis Channel, so I'd like to write a little rant about it and about Tennis magazine and all the other channels of information in the sport.
The problem with the entire sport is that it is one of the most elite sports in the world. Spare me the bullshit about poor marketing and bad television scheduling. The reason people don't follow tennis or why it is declining in America (and I'll speak for my country because it's the only system I know) is because the oppurtunity for major success is buried in country clubs and expensive academies.
In preparation to write this, I spent an entire day asking people about their experience with tennis. And without expectation, people will say that they enjoy the sport, they love to play. And also they will say that they don't really follow to sport, maybe able to name a few pros here or there. A Harris Poll this year shows that tennis has fallen in popularity since 1986. men's tennis ranks right above track & field and horse racing; women's tennis is above bowling. TERRIBLE results for an accessible sport played year-round, televised often, possessing lots of money, with numerous stars.
Knowing all this, I have just switched on the Tennis Channel, and a show called Destination: Tennis is on. Right now, I'm being told about a vacation in a beautiful place I can't afford, about packages I can't afford, about hits with pros I can't afford. I wouldn't afford to sleep on the roof at any of the places they're telling me about. I don't feel like a part of this sport. It's the same feeling I got between showings of the French Open on that channel, when I saw Murphy Jensen stay in hotels I couldn't afford. He even stayed in hostels I couldn't afford!
I feel a little bit the same about Tennis magazine. First off, it's incredibly dull. The jokes are cheesy, the articles are boring, the advertisements are in the millions. but it assumes that we want to know about academies and vacations that are well out of our budget. I always laugh when they write about tennis getaways that are $300 dollars a night, as if they're steals! maybe if you steal your neighbor's wallet, but not in any other way.
I know there are some changes being made, particularly in the form of free clinics by pros or in schools and community centers. That's why I'm disdainful of the players at tournaments that refuse to sign autographs or take pictures. And that's why I'm such a fan of players like Fernando Verdasco and the Bryan brothers, who are so willing to embrace the crowds of people that paid to see them and enjoyed their show and supported them. We don't need to be a big show like Djokovic or Roddick or Sharapova; we don't just want to be a necessary platitude in victory speeches.
I'm not some poor bum on the side of the road. I'm not even homeless. I'm not even hungry. I'm just pretty normal. And the people I took tennis lessons with were normal. The people in my high school, the people in my college, the people in my town: all normal.
We can't afford to watch thousands of dollars in vacations on tv. we just want to watch tennis. we just want to know about the players. we aren't members of the sports or the system or the tour. we want an escape. and everytime we watch the outlets that are supposed to help us, we're reminded of how distinctly we're not really part of this world. Sport is a river, and we all need to be in it. The problem in tennis is that most people are just sitting on the banks, watching it go by.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
Friday, June 1, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Tomorrow = Vive La France!
I pick Rafael to win. I'm a rebel, I know.
Rafael def. Roger. not in straights. I know we're all still shellshocked from Hamburg, but it's a fluke. I still don't think Federer can get the game together at a Slam where Rafael has never lost a match.
I think Canas and Djokovic in the semis. I'm going to start picking Djokovic at everything, because he's certainly on his way to being a certainty. I like to jump on the boat early.
Henin def. Sharapova in the final
Ivanovic in the semis, Jankovic in the semis.
Other predictions:
Rafael def. Roger. not in straights. I know we're all still shellshocked from Hamburg, but it's a fluke. I still don't think Federer can get the game together at a Slam where Rafael has never lost a match.
I think Canas and Djokovic in the semis. I'm going to start picking Djokovic at everything, because he's certainly on his way to being a certainty. I like to jump on the boat early.
Henin def. Sharapova in the final
Ivanovic in the semis, Jankovic in the semis.
Other predictions:
- breakout Serbian Slam
- Carlos Moya in the quarters, losing to Nadal (Moya's draw looked like a kindergartner picked it). Although, knowing Carlos Moya, he could just as easily miss every first serve, net every backhand and go out in the first round.
- no Americans past the fourth, and I think I'm being generous
- I think Justine-S.Williams quarterfinal will be nice
- Canas to cement his suspension. Canas is awesome, isn't he? It's like suspending a kid and then having him return to give the valedictory address.
Monday, May 7, 2007
Beating Roger Federer
Carlos Moya just did it.
By playing doubles.
Nadal/Moya def. Federer/Wawrinka: 6-4, 7-6.
At first I thought this was a practical joke, but then I actually watched it, and realized that this match was basically like a backup singles match. Not that I'm saying Wawrinka and Moya are handicaps, but I think Rafa was just proving to Roger that he really does own him on clay. Pretty soon, Nadal's gonna be walking Roger around on a leash.
Carlos Moya wore capris too. Moya looked dumb, and I thought Rafael already copyrighted those. At the rate they're handing out these pirates, they should have just cancel tennis and let Captain Jack Sparrow play. Although, just to be nice to Carlos Moya, he was the only one who didn't lose serve. Pretty good for someone that alternates his days between the retirement home and the disco.
Federer said that he didn't take it seriously in an interview afterwards. I think he should that after every loss. "i didn't take it seriously." I guess it works for Serena Williams.
Rafa actually didn't seem as mean as usual. He's a really weird person, I think. Sometimes he does all these things that makes you think that he's about six years old, then he gets on court and you think that he might punch your face in with those biceps and murderous stares.
People get really defensive about Moya and Wawrinka for some reason (some fangirl sent me a rabid email about how Moya was hot and a really good tennis player, etc.) , so I take everything I said back. Moya/Nadal def. Federer/Wawrinka. "Wawa" was coming back from serious injury, Moya played pretty well, Rafa was really nice, Roger hit some phenomenal shots, they all had fun and went out for a lively game of parcheesi and crumpets afterwards. See how boring that is?
highlights, capris, moya beating federer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSKeQo0bQAI
I wish doubles were more popular, because it really is fun. No one watches it on TV, but its because it isn't on TV (not even on the ever-valuable and phenomenally interesting and completely reliable tennis channel) . But whenever I've seen it live, people get really excited. I think I saw the Bryan brothers give people heart attacks (maybe just each other; bumping chests like that has to be dangerous at some point). They really love their sport too; when the ATP cheapened it with all their new efforts to make it shorter with more drama and fanfare (maybe they thought it was a circus or something), opponents and rivals alike came together in support of their livelihood.
I hope that this kind of match encourages doubles to be aired and watched more often. Because Doubles is so good, it brings people back from cancer.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
By playing doubles.
Nadal/Moya def. Federer/Wawrinka: 6-4, 7-6.
At first I thought this was a practical joke, but then I actually watched it, and realized that this match was basically like a backup singles match. Not that I'm saying Wawrinka and Moya are handicaps, but I think Rafa was just proving to Roger that he really does own him on clay. Pretty soon, Nadal's gonna be walking Roger around on a leash.
Carlos Moya wore capris too. Moya looked dumb, and I thought Rafael already copyrighted those. At the rate they're handing out these pirates, they should have just cancel tennis and let Captain Jack Sparrow play. Although, just to be nice to Carlos Moya, he was the only one who didn't lose serve. Pretty good for someone that alternates his days between the retirement home and the disco.
Federer said that he didn't take it seriously in an interview afterwards. I think he should that after every loss. "i didn't take it seriously." I guess it works for Serena Williams.
Rafa actually didn't seem as mean as usual. He's a really weird person, I think. Sometimes he does all these things that makes you think that he's about six years old, then he gets on court and you think that he might punch your face in with those biceps and murderous stares.
People get really defensive about Moya and Wawrinka for some reason (some fangirl sent me a rabid email about how Moya was hot and a really good tennis player, etc.) , so I take everything I said back. Moya/Nadal def. Federer/Wawrinka. "Wawa" was coming back from serious injury, Moya played pretty well, Rafa was really nice, Roger hit some phenomenal shots, they all had fun and went out for a lively game of parcheesi and crumpets afterwards. See how boring that is?
highlights, capris, moya beating federer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSKeQo0bQAI
I wish doubles were more popular, because it really is fun. No one watches it on TV, but its because it isn't on TV (not even on the ever-valuable and phenomenally interesting and completely reliable tennis channel) . But whenever I've seen it live, people get really excited. I think I saw the Bryan brothers give people heart attacks (maybe just each other; bumping chests like that has to be dangerous at some point). They really love their sport too; when the ATP cheapened it with all their new efforts to make it shorter with more drama and fanfare (maybe they thought it was a circus or something), opponents and rivals alike came together in support of their livelihood.
I hope that this kind of match encourages doubles to be aired and watched more often. Because Doubles is so good, it brings people back from cancer.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
Friday, April 27, 2007
the Tennis Channel
So I paid for this because I thought I would get to watch more tennis than I got on ESPN, but instead I end up watching Murphy Jensen travel around the world at someone else’s expense (I’m guessing me, since I pay for this channel) and drink with Dmitry Tursunov.
That’s just one of the precious gems of this phenomenal channel that is definitely worth every dollar you’re shelling out to watch other people travel around the world and the occasional ping pong games and interviews with Mary Carillo. But also there is this wonderful show called No Strings Attached, where a camera basically follows players around so if you’re interested in them telling you about their practice habits, it’s definitely the show for you. And if you want to see your favorite players get asked the same questions that everyone always gets asked, Center Court is where its at. Or how to take a tennis vacataion you can’t afford: Destination Tennis.
Basically the tennis channel is really boring.
I only like a few things about it, like Dmitry Tursunov at the vodka bar: Dmitry didn’t drink and when you come right down to it, the whole universe saw it anyway. but in case you were the one person that didn't, maybe someone will take pity on you, because it's not on youtube.
I couldn’t find a clip of this, but there was a particularly amusing moment from a particularly boring No Strings that followed Feli Lopez around (I guess they left out all the exciting parts when he forgot to sign autographs and talked to pretty teenage girls. this is not a reflection on his personality). but the exchange was basically like this:
Feli's coach: something sex with women
Feli Lopez: not so much
Feli's coach: bullshit
Rafael Nadal's no strings is ok. actually, it's pretty boring, although Carlos Moya makes a cameo. That's not very special, because I feel like Carlos Moya makes a cameo in every show that Rafael Nadal has ever done (future claim to fame). the dubbing and translation in this thing was ridiculous, especially this part when Rafael is talking about a girl in a club (go like 2:30 in):
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mJ7gYPkyyZA
Also, a wonderful moment when Tommy Haas goes to Hooters. I don't think I need to say anything else. This man is in a category of class reserved to himself:
http://www.youtube.com/v/HvHOCqbA6rE
those are my favorite parts. the tennis channel sucks when it doesn't show tennis, which is about 300 % of the time. sometimes it sucks when they show tennis too, like when they show Federation Cup reruns on repeat. maybe they'll rename it the Murphy Jensen Kingdom and let him reign as sovereign ruler.
That’s just one of the precious gems of this phenomenal channel that is definitely worth every dollar you’re shelling out to watch other people travel around the world and the occasional ping pong games and interviews with Mary Carillo. But also there is this wonderful show called No Strings Attached, where a camera basically follows players around so if you’re interested in them telling you about their practice habits, it’s definitely the show for you. And if you want to see your favorite players get asked the same questions that everyone always gets asked, Center Court is where its at. Or how to take a tennis vacataion you can’t afford: Destination Tennis.
Basically the tennis channel is really boring.
I only like a few things about it, like Dmitry Tursunov at the vodka bar: Dmitry didn’t drink and when you come right down to it, the whole universe saw it anyway. but in case you were the one person that didn't, maybe someone will take pity on you, because it's not on youtube.
I couldn’t find a clip of this, but there was a particularly amusing moment from a particularly boring No Strings that followed Feli Lopez around (I guess they left out all the exciting parts when he forgot to sign autographs and talked to pretty teenage girls. this is not a reflection on his personality). but the exchange was basically like this:
Feli's coach: something sex with women
Feli Lopez: not so much
Feli's coach: bullshit
Rafael Nadal's no strings is ok. actually, it's pretty boring, although Carlos Moya makes a cameo. That's not very special, because I feel like Carlos Moya makes a cameo in every show that Rafael Nadal has ever done (future claim to fame). the dubbing and translation in this thing was ridiculous, especially this part when Rafael is talking about a girl in a club (go like 2:30 in):
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mJ7gYPkyyZA
Also, a wonderful moment when Tommy Haas goes to Hooters. I don't think I need to say anything else. This man is in a category of class reserved to himself:
http://www.youtube.com/v/HvHOCqbA6rE
those are my favorite parts. the tennis channel sucks when it doesn't show tennis, which is about 300 % of the time. sometimes it sucks when they show tennis too, like when they show Federation Cup reruns on repeat. maybe they'll rename it the Murphy Jensen Kingdom and let him reign as sovereign ruler.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
USA vs. Spain: Living Down to my Expectations
I made some observations but since I mostly wrote them on napkins that I took from Starbucks (I sat across from Robredo and Verdasco!), I didn’t feel like rewriting them as paragraphs.
1. Every morning I laughed to myself watching Feliciano Lopez reclining on a Starbucks chair pouting sexily to no one in particular. Maybe Fernando Verdasco.
2. SPOTTED: DAVID FERRER SMOKING (my friends were convinced of this. I saw him in the distance. For all I know, he could have been smoking a straw.) It’s odd, because that’s the only time I ever saw David Ferrer. I actually thought he didn’t show up.
3. kudos to Fernando Verdasco, signing autographs and taking pictures with anyone that asked. And then he took the iniative after his practice to gratify all the fans that were screaming his name. He talked to children, he smiled at people, and he must have taken hundreds of photographs. And I saw him do all this after he lost his match too. Similarly, kudos to Mike and Bob Bryan who did much the same thing. I was near Mike mostly, who looked completely exhausted after his doubles match and victory dancing, but he still stayed behind and signed and snapped for as many people as he could reach.
4. this is not a reflection on his personality at all. But Feliciano Lopez confused the hell out of me, since I barely saw sign anything, although I did have a little girl tell me that he talked to her really nicely for a few minutes. But then again, I saw a teenage girl ask him for an autograph and he told her he was busy and just walked away (Emilio Sanchez gave a resigned laugh). Later that day, between listening to his iPod and browsing the gift shop, he signed a few autographs, maybe three. And he did talk to some people in his hotel one night (mostly they were pretty teenage girls; again this is not a reflection on his personality.) But then again, while he was practicing to play his dead rubber, a girl next to me must have screamed his name a hundred times. And either he didn’t hear her screeching voice or she was getting on everyone’s nerves, but Emilio Sanchez finally took her camera and snapped some pictures of Feliciano practicing. And I guess he’s a nice guy because he did smile for them. And he signed a few autographs as he sauntered sexily off court. but I must say that I laughed inside when he spilled coffee on himself.
5. James Blake hung out for a little bit with some children. Andy Roddick got mobbed once when he entered the hotel where his mother was staying. Thomas Blake took some pictures (I guess he’s really making a name for himself with his big career commentating on the tennis channel). Pat McEnroe signed some too, mostly for some older women that were swooning and fainting, but I managed to sneak in there somehow and made him sign some kind of noisemaker that they were handing out for free.
6. Mardy Fish hit some balls at the ceiling of the stadium. I’m not sure what this was all about, maybe it’s his new practicing technique, but he took a nice bow afterwards.
7. SPOTTED: the elusive and talented Donald Young! Soon to take over from Roger Federer, if the shots he were hitting were any indication. (hint: they landed behind the baseline.)
8. Make friends with sponsors, because sometimes they will hand out free tickets in the nice section. Except don’t sit in a section full of Americans and shout ‘vamos’ because everyone will try to stone you with said free noisemakers.
9. the Spanish section is ridiculous. These people are so fucking patriotic. Probably the most interesting thing that happened on the first day (except watching a heckler harass Tommy Robredo and Fernando Verdasco) was this band war! A Spaniard came, armed with a trumpet, prepared to play number of Spanish anthems…and the American band drowned him out with a rousing rendition of ‘We Will Rock You.’
10. It was really fucking cold. The whole time. I think the USTA rigged it that way so that everyone would be forced to buy their million dollar sweatshirts. (can we maybe get some clay courts with that money?) Although, to be fair, they did hand out some noisemakers for free.
11. Feliciano practiced in Hawaiian shorts. bright blue!
12. Women take forever to use the restroom. If you use a tennis analogy, it was like Borg's pants (men's line) to Rafa's pants (the ladies).
13. Davis Cup is a nice environment. Maybe I’m just a sucker for these inspirational and patriotic moments, but watching Andy Roddick close out Fernando Verdasco and watching the crowd jump to their feet screaming was really touching. We may not elect our athletes, but we certainly adopt them as our symbols, and it was never more evident than seeing Spanish fans that paid airfare, the price of front-row seats, the custom t-shirts that they were wearing. Or seeing people crying after America won. Or people waving those obnoxious noisemakers or screaming ‘Ole’ or ‘lets go Bryan lets go’ or playing the trumpet or waving the most ridiculously large flags I have ever seen. I’m no sap, but between Fernando Verdasco and patriotism, it was a good trip.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
1. Every morning I laughed to myself watching Feliciano Lopez reclining on a Starbucks chair pouting sexily to no one in particular. Maybe Fernando Verdasco.
2. SPOTTED: DAVID FERRER SMOKING (my friends were convinced of this. I saw him in the distance. For all I know, he could have been smoking a straw.) It’s odd, because that’s the only time I ever saw David Ferrer. I actually thought he didn’t show up.
3. kudos to Fernando Verdasco, signing autographs and taking pictures with anyone that asked. And then he took the iniative after his practice to gratify all the fans that were screaming his name. He talked to children, he smiled at people, and he must have taken hundreds of photographs. And I saw him do all this after he lost his match too. Similarly, kudos to Mike and Bob Bryan who did much the same thing. I was near Mike mostly, who looked completely exhausted after his doubles match and victory dancing, but he still stayed behind and signed and snapped for as many people as he could reach.
4. this is not a reflection on his personality at all. But Feliciano Lopez confused the hell out of me, since I barely saw sign anything, although I did have a little girl tell me that he talked to her really nicely for a few minutes. But then again, I saw a teenage girl ask him for an autograph and he told her he was busy and just walked away (Emilio Sanchez gave a resigned laugh). Later that day, between listening to his iPod and browsing the gift shop, he signed a few autographs, maybe three. And he did talk to some people in his hotel one night (mostly they were pretty teenage girls; again this is not a reflection on his personality.) But then again, while he was practicing to play his dead rubber, a girl next to me must have screamed his name a hundred times. And either he didn’t hear her screeching voice or she was getting on everyone’s nerves, but Emilio Sanchez finally took her camera and snapped some pictures of Feliciano practicing. And I guess he’s a nice guy because he did smile for them. And he signed a few autographs as he sauntered sexily off court. but I must say that I laughed inside when he spilled coffee on himself.
5. James Blake hung out for a little bit with some children. Andy Roddick got mobbed once when he entered the hotel where his mother was staying. Thomas Blake took some pictures (I guess he’s really making a name for himself with his big career commentating on the tennis channel). Pat McEnroe signed some too, mostly for some older women that were swooning and fainting, but I managed to sneak in there somehow and made him sign some kind of noisemaker that they were handing out for free.
6. Mardy Fish hit some balls at the ceiling of the stadium. I’m not sure what this was all about, maybe it’s his new practicing technique, but he took a nice bow afterwards.
7. SPOTTED: the elusive and talented Donald Young! Soon to take over from Roger Federer, if the shots he were hitting were any indication. (hint: they landed behind the baseline.)
8. Make friends with sponsors, because sometimes they will hand out free tickets in the nice section. Except don’t sit in a section full of Americans and shout ‘vamos’ because everyone will try to stone you with said free noisemakers.
9. the Spanish section is ridiculous. These people are so fucking patriotic. Probably the most interesting thing that happened on the first day (except watching a heckler harass Tommy Robredo and Fernando Verdasco) was this band war! A Spaniard came, armed with a trumpet, prepared to play number of Spanish anthems…and the American band drowned him out with a rousing rendition of ‘We Will Rock You.’
10. It was really fucking cold. The whole time. I think the USTA rigged it that way so that everyone would be forced to buy their million dollar sweatshirts. (can we maybe get some clay courts with that money?) Although, to be fair, they did hand out some noisemakers for free.
11. Feliciano practiced in Hawaiian shorts. bright blue!
12. Women take forever to use the restroom. If you use a tennis analogy, it was like Borg's pants (men's line) to Rafa's pants (the ladies).
13. Davis Cup is a nice environment. Maybe I’m just a sucker for these inspirational and patriotic moments, but watching Andy Roddick close out Fernando Verdasco and watching the crowd jump to their feet screaming was really touching. We may not elect our athletes, but we certainly adopt them as our symbols, and it was never more evident than seeing Spanish fans that paid airfare, the price of front-row seats, the custom t-shirts that they were wearing. Or seeing people crying after America won. Or people waving those obnoxious noisemakers or screaming ‘Ole’ or ‘lets go Bryan lets go’ or playing the trumpet or waving the most ridiculously large flags I have ever seen. I’m no sap, but between Fernando Verdasco and patriotism, it was a good trip.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
This Place
I'm pretty boring.
if you think so, you can check out the beauty and gems of wisdom at bradgilberttennis.com.
or you can stay here, i'm probably cooler.
read and send.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
if you think so, you can check out the beauty and gems of wisdom at bradgilberttennis.com.
or you can stay here, i'm probably cooler.
read and send.
thirty.love1@gmail.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)